i hope this will help Ok guys,i hope this will explain to the euro guys why we love our cag so much,this a little email that it was send to us on our job and i think is very close to the cag,euro confict, remember is a joke dont get mad,lol.
Oil change instruction for women (e)
1. pull up to juffy lube when the milege reaches 3,000 miles since the lastoil change
2. drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
money spend
oil change $20.00
coffee $1.00
total $21.00
Oil changeinstructions for men (c)
1.waint until saturday,drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,filter kitty litter,hand cleaner and a scented tree,write a check for $50.00.
2.stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer,write a check for $20.00 drive home.
3.open a beer and drink it .
4.jack car up. spend 30 minutes looking for jack stand.
5.find the jack stand under kid's pedal car.
6. in frustration,open another beer and drink it .
7.place drain pan under engine.
8.look for 9/16box and wrench.
9.give up and use crescent wrench.
10.unscrew drain plug.
11.drop drain plug in pan of hot oil:splash hot oil on you in the process.cuss.
12.crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil from face and arm.trow kitty litter on spilled oil.
13.have another beer while waching oil drain.
14.spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15.give up:crawl under car a hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16.craw out from under car with dripping oil filtersplashing oil everywhere from holes.cleverly hida old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid enviromental penalties.drink another beer.
17.boddy shows up;finish case of beer with him.decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener.
18.sunday:skip church because,"i got to finish the oil change".drag pan full of old oil out of from underneath car.cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to O"reilly to recycle.
19.trow kitty litter on oil spille during step 18.
20.beer?no drank it all yesterday.
21.walk to 7-11:buy beer.
22.intall new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
23.dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24.remember drainplug from step 11.
25.hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. remember that the use oil is buried in a hole in tha back yard,along with drain plug.
27. drink beer.
28.shovel out hole and sift oily mud from drain plug.re-shovel oily dirt into hole.steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of groundand avoid enviromental penalties.wash drain plug in lawnmover gas.
29.discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.trow kitty litter on oil spill.
30.drink beer.
craw under car getting kitty litter into eyes.wipe eyes with oily rag use to clean drain plug.slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckes on frame.
32.bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33.begin cussing fit.
34.trow stupid crscent wrench.
35.cuss for additional 10 minutes wrench hit miss december(1992)in the left boob.
36.beer.
37.clean up hands and forhead and bandage as require to stop blood flow.
38. beer.
39. beer.
40.dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41.beer.
42.lower car from jack stand.
43.accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44.move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spill during step23-43.
45.beer.
46.test drive car.
47.get pull over:arrested for driving under the infuence.
48.car gets impounded.
49.call loving wife,make bail.
50 .12 hours later, get car from the impound yard.
Money spend.
parts.$50.00
DUI $2500.00
impound fee $75.00
bail $1500.00
beer $40.00
total $4165.00- but you know the job was done right!
LOL. |